If you aren't LDS (aka Mormon) maybe this post won't make sense to you,
but to those at are, surely it will.
For the past two months, Taylor and I have been working very closely with the Bishop getting ready to get married for all eternity in the temple.
I'm really excited to go in the temple!
To make those very sacred covenants,
to be able to be in such a spiritually uplifting place,
and to be sealed to my love for always and forever.
But we're not ready.
We're just not ready right now.
We've been talking, and trying to get all of our ducks in a row, but we've decided that we won't be ready in 19 days.
I guarantee you that no matter who you are or how you know me OR Taylor,
You deserve no explanation.
Sorry to sound so mean...but I mean to sound firm.
Believe you me, not going to the temple to get married is hard enough.
We don't need questions, unfair judgements, or people talking about it behind closed doors.
Entering the temple isn't just something you go do.
It's not something that our Heavenly Father takes lightly.
Going in the temple before you are ready is serious.
It is NOT good.
The things done in the temple last for eternity,
in the LDS culture (NOT the religion) the importance of the temple gets muddled and clouded.
When a person gets a mission call, the buzz is ALL about where they're going, and when, and how, etc.
But the work to enter the temple should never be ignored or pushed down to second place.
When Taylor and I were getting married in the temple, people asked about when and where and the reception and the dress,
the fun and interesting stuff,
but by far the LEAST important of it all.
Taylor and I will go to the temple.
We are excited to go!
We are excited to be completely ready to go!
We will continue to read our scriptures together and pray together every single night,
we will continue to go to church,
we will still hang the picture of the temple that I painted in our home to show what we believe.
and we will do everything we need to do :)
A civil marriage (a marriage outside the temple) will still mean we are man and wife
to society,
to the law,
and to God.
We have made a really hard decision,
but we have made the right decision.
And that's all you need to know :)
Good for you! Really, I mean it ;) You are absolutely right about not entering the temple until you're ready, and I have friends that went through this process, went to the temple anyways and ended up divorced and had to break the seal because they got so caught up in what everyone would think. SO good for you! I'm happy for you and you'll still have a gorgeous wedding! And then you get to have a sorta second one when you geet sealed! Double fun!! ;)
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty. The temple is very important, and it's nice to see a couple brave enough to do this. Hope everything goes well.
ReplyDeleteLike Ali said...good for you. To be honest, I don't know what you guys are dealing with {and don't care WHAT it is}, I have SO MUCH respect for you. So many people go through the temple when they aren't ready {for a variety of reasons}, and having the courage to stand up and say "we just aren't ready right now" is ridiculously amazing and courageous. Those who judge aren't worth your time, and all I can really say is that I am proud of you && look up to you for what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteAmanda @ we & serendipity
I think differently about temple marriages, but I feel the same way about temple sealings. I can't believe how brave you are. There is such a stigma associated with those who don't get married in the temple. It is absolutely ridiculous what can go through peoples' minds just because someone has made a decision not to. I hope you both get the best out of life and I certainly hope you have a very happy wedding day - no matter where it is!
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ReplyDeleteI am just catching up on this page...as a new follower, I've been following your MOST recent posts and catching up. I love this post. What a tough decision. I feel so strongly about the stigma and the judgement. My husband has been married (in the temple) before. So when we set the date and started working on things, we had no idea how much work goes into having a second marriage in the temple. We didn't know if we'd get the approval and paperwork in time. We almost didn't. At the last minute I started scheduling the church building and trying to put together a decent ceremony. We found out that we'd be married in the temple 2 weeks before our wedding day. When the bishop called my husband we seriously started crying we were so excited. But I realized a lot of my sadness came from the wrong place. I was sad to not have pictures outside the temple, I was sad to have people judge me, I was sad about a lot of unimportant things. Of course I was sad about not making it to the temple. We could've pushed back the date, but I didn't want to and trust me...a longer engagement would have been bad for us. It's a tough call. I almost got married civilly and because of that, it changed the way I view our culture's push for temple marriage. When I started serving in YW after I got married, I made a point of talking about the temple for the sake of covenants and peace and blessings found therein, not about the pretty picture outside as husband and wife.
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