i'm not fat

My appearance has always been a big deal for me.
Way. Too. Big.
I've been known to really obsess about the way that I look, it's quite unhealthy.
BUT I have gained weight. For real.
I think I might finally be able to be happy when I'm healthy, and not "Bleghhhhhhhhhh I'm fat."
I do say that though, and Tay does NOT like it! 
Anyway, I want to be healthy now! I want to like my appearance! I really really want to!
So, my ideas?
1. While I lose weight, buy clothes that fit me now! That way, I won't be so down every single time I get dressed and things don't fit :/
2. Eat better and workout!
3.Change my mindset. Stop saying "I'M SO FAT" all the time, and enjoy me!

That being said, I still have gained weight.
I really liked my body just a little bit smaller.
I'm not fat.
But I'd like to be a little bit smaller, because I know I liked that!
And all my cute clothes are that size...

But I need your help and support!!
Does anyone know good healthy recipes or food to eat?
Good exercises?
Things that work to make you healthy and happy???

And now, without further ado, I present to you my official before photos:

I'm not going to weigh myself...I think I would absolutely obsess over that.
I just want to be healthy!

PS: My favicon changed!! Do you liiiike it?
PPS: Thank you guys so much for all the nice things you said on my last post! I'm excited to keep getting my blog awesome looking! :)


  1. sweety take up a sport hobby or a daily walk that would make you feel better. nothing crazy and don't weigh yourself. chill you. you are beautiful!

  2. Darling girl, I apologize in advance if this is going to turn out to be a novel. I think all girls have issues with themselves. Whether it is their weight, or "SOMETHING" not being perfect. I have had the SAME issue. Marriage makes you gain weight. It just does. And there's kind of nothing wrong with that. Hey! You're HAPPY! But I say that all the time too. And my husband despises me saying it as well. My best advice to you is to look at yourself in the mirror DAILY and say "I am beautiful. I am not fat. My body is beautiful. And I am beautiful." Like 8 times. You'll feel weird at first, but just do it. because you ARE. and you deserve better. You're beautiful, and I don't think you should change a thing.

    amanda @ we and serendipity

  3. For the record, I think you look perfect just the way you are!

    I was actually in a similar position as you about a year ago, though. I went on a religious mission for 18 months and came back 25 pounds heavier. Even though I wasn't fat by any standards, I had a difficult time accepting the "new" me.

    So I signed up for myfitnesspal.com and started making myself accountable for every bite I ate as well as exercising every day. It was really hard work, but I've dropped about 20 pounds (which have stayed off!) by being diligent about it. I don't deprive myself (because that only tends to make me feel worse about the situation)--rather, I just know that maintaining my best weight is all about the choices I make on a regular basis. After dropping a lot of the weight, I also trained (and ran) a marathon for the first time, which helped me to see my body in a totally new, much more appreciative light. Maybe you don't want to go out for a marathon, but maybe signing up for a 10k a few months out will help to inspire you too.

    Best of luck to you in all your self-acceptance endeavors!


  4. girl, i had/have this same exact problem! i have gained like three thousand pounds since i got married and i've been working hard on eating right and losing the newlywed weight! myfitnesspal.com is a calorie counting awesome life saver! i use it errday. good luck!